The Self Journal Has it All

I’ve been looking for THE journal/calendar for a while. I’ve tried online as well as physical ones and what I’ve come to realize is that I’m resisting something (thank you Turning Pro for opening my eyes!)  It’s not like I’m against a daily routine. I definitely brush my teeth, make my bed, have my daily Bulletproof tea, use my essential oils and shower every single day. I just haven’t energy and mental effort into planning my days. However, I can no longer ignore the necessity of this type of daily tracking tool because too many of my goals, ideas and dreams have fallen to the side because I don’t put them front and center. This blog, for example. I’ve announced more than once when I’m going to post here and then I let things slide. Just when I about typed I’m inconsistent, I realize I’m consistent at being inconsistent.  Not exactly what I’m going for. <eye roll>

I love social media but it doesn’t help the schedule. It’s a goddamn rabbit hole for me because I have no discipline and according to Turning Pro, “the amateur tweets, the pro works.” I know there are apps to use to turn off social media while the work gets done but I resist having to have an app tell me to keep off the internet and all the other distractions. Anyway, social media is just one thing…there are many things that have kept me from my goals. Believe me, there’s a plethora.

I don’t want this post to be about my amateurness but more about what I’m using to help me so let’s continue with my latest find, shall we? Before I bag on myself for my social media addiction (did I mention I’m an amateur?), social media led me to the Self Journal by BestSelf Co. You may have seen the ad as well. I normally ignore all Instagram ads but I felt compelled to check this one out because of my obsession with the RIGHT calendar. This popped up in my daily feed a couple of weeks and it was like a gift placed in my lap.

 

The Self Journal is a 13-Week Roadmap that helps you get organized while aligning day-to-day tasks to your goals. You set your goals, then break down actions steps and tasks based on those goals. There is a monthly calendar, a weekly progress space that allows you to reflect and track how you’re doing. There is space for morning and evening gratitude, goal reminder and target goals for the day in the daily planner pages.

This is exactly what I needed and while the set up has been a little painful, I love the daily attention it requires. I need to build my goal-setting and daily habit muscles and the way it is laid out makes it easy to use. I love that it allows for some creativity which you can see from their customer IG shares page. 

This 13-Week Roadmap goes for $31.99 which makes me dedicated to using it because who spends $127.96 for a yearly calendar/journal? Apparently me, so you bet your ass I’m going to be diving into this baby each and every day.

  • Do you struggle with setting goals and sticking to them?
  • Maybe you’re a goal-setting phenom…so spill your secrets!
  • What journals/calendars/goal-setting tools have worked for you? 

 

{photos from BestSelf Co}

FOMO…What are You Really Missing Out On?

 

FOMO = Fear of Missing Out

 

If you have a teenager in your home, I’m sure this is a familiar acronym. I’ve fought many battles that started out with “But Mom, I’ll be the only one…yada, yada, yada.” Do they even know who they are talking to?! I’m the mom who relishes being on the outside of all the wrong things. Just look at me. I use essential oils every day, I don’t eat fast food unless I have no other choice, and I rarely drink anymore. I’m the poster woman for being alone in a crowd. But that’s okay. That means I miss out on a having a medicine cabinet. I miss out on medicine side effects. I miss out on feeling crappy. I miss out on living symptom to symptom. I miss out on having hangovers and sleeping like poop. I guess I’m anti-FOMO.

I wasn’t always like that but I eventually made the choice to “miss out” because I finally learned that FOMO wasn’t aligning me with my true self. I have said yes to so many things when I should have said no (like getting set up for date parties in college. Ugh. Every one of them was a disaster!), carried on toxic friendships for way longer than they should, drank lots of drinks when I knew I was going to feel horrible the next day, ate gobs of fast food even though they gave me a rolling gut ache within minutes. I sat quiet during morally wrong conversations even though I knew they weren’t okay. FOMO made me feel conflicted and twisted inside. For a long time, I didn’t know I was living out of alignment because I didn’t know myself. Perhaps it was the realization that I was too old to be living like that anymore or that I really didn’t care what people thought about me anymore. I took back my life and kicked the FOMO to the curb.

My teenagers and I have LOTS and LOTS of talks about FOMO and how it’s all bullshit. Someday they have to look back on this time in their life and they will either be proud or disappointed. I was such a FOMO teen and my view of those years is definitely disappointing. I had no idea who I was and what I stood for so I was basically a chameleon. I became whoever I was with.

It’s taken a long time to not give a shit about missing out on things anymore. What matters to me now is that I live a life I love. I connect with others who make me a better person, not drag me down to make themselves feel better about their bad decisions. I have wasted enough time living out of alignment and it’s a huge effing drag.

 

What does FOMO look like in your life? 

 

Are you afraid to miss out on being involved at your kids’ school but don’t really have the time? 

Are you afraid of missing out on being part of who’s who in your community but don’t really feel a true connection with them?

Are you afraid of missing out on drinks with “the girls” but you really need to get some sleep?

Are you afraid of your kids missing out on activities just in case one of them just might be their thing?

Are you afraid of standing up for yourself for fear of being alone?

We’ve all been there, babe, and some of us are still there. Don’t give up on yourself and I’m here to tell you that it’s okay to have FOMO when has to do with cutting out all the junk you don’t need in your life.

My FOMO is the fear of missing out on an amazing life. I will miss out on that happy hour and go exercise to take care of my body. I will miss out on the fast food drive-thru and make a healthy meal that fuels my body. I will miss out on “girls’ night” and go on long walk in nature with my husband or dog to feel connected. I will miss out on binge watching ALL the television shows and go take a long bath with a good book that relaxes me. I will miss out on saying yes to people and things that aren’t me and say yes to who and what make me come alive.

I’ll own that FOMO every damn day.

 

 

Well, That Didn’t Go as Planned

 

Oh Saint of Perfect Memories, why have you forsaken me?

Today was the final day of finals for my high schooler, the final day for my middle schooler and the final walk to school and celebration parade out of school for my elementary schooler.

The plan was to get up early and make my kids all of their favorites: hash browns, chocolate chip pancakes, and scrambled eggs. Then run to the store to pick up the teacher gift and back to school for a class pic and watch the 5th graders walk out for the last time ever. Then a family lunch sans youngest because he had to go to a birthday party.

I’m not an early riser so I set the alarm for 6:30 so I could take a quick shower before commencing on the best last day breakfast ever. I’ve had to shower in my middle son’s shower for the past week because we are retiling ours. I snuck into his room, careful not to wake him so he could enjoy his slumber until breakfast was ready. I kept my eyes forward so I wouldn’t get worked up by the disgusto that lay on either side of my path because I was determined I was going to make this last day special. No nagging today!

Breakfast prep began with quickly cooking the frozen hash browns. First “not as planned” event: said hash browns proceeded to stick to the bottom of the pan regardless of the obnoxious amount of coconut oil I had poured in. Screw it. I scraped the hash browns onto the sheet pan and put them in the oven on broil. They’ll be done in just a couple of minutes, I thought.

So I moved onto the pancakes, using banana, egg, protein powder and chocolate chips. Second “not as planned” event: pancakes were like cardboard because I didn’t use the right ratio of ingredients. Plus, I should have just used the Power Protein mix I had in the pantry and made it easy. “No, they’ll love the pancakes I made for myself the other day”, I said. I ended up using the pancake mix halfway through but by this time it was 7:25. They were going to be downstairs any minute!

I checked on the hash browns and WTF, they were basically still white as they were when they came out of the package. Only the fringe had a touch of golden and the rack was at the highest level. Yep, the third “not as planned” event.

Youngest son descends in the same dress shorts that he wore the day before as well as a too small shirt. The no nag rule ended at this exact moment. He was supposed to have his clothes laid out the night before but he must have heard “Just pick up whatever is laying around.” So off he went to change, grumbling and stomping the entire way. Did I fail to mention that he complained about my “last day of school” music playlist? Well, that falls into the “not as planned” event list as well so let’s say that one is number five.

I hear my two sons pass on the stairs and I still needed to make the eggs! Thank God the hash browns would be ready to start on at least. A quick check revealed still a no go. He walks in and also complains about the music selection. It was our fricking mountain music playlist! They love this stuff. I clenched my teeth and asked what would he like to listen to. “Coldplay,” he said, which was on my Mountain Music playlist but we just hadn’t gotten there yet. I didn’t have time to mess with explaining what patience was because I was quickly running out of my own. Back to the eggs I went and proceeded to whip these up in a minute flat but then spilled 1/4 of them onto the floor in my haste to get the child his best last day breakfast ever.

The hash browns were semi-ready but the middle child likes his extra crispy so I had to scoop the well done ones from the edges. He proceeded to shovel down what he could and his father whisked him off to school which I’m sure he arrived late. Oldest child came down and said she didn’t have time to eat and that she would eat when she got home. So I spent most of my prep time trying to fix the pancake batter wasn’t time well spent. I managed to get some extra time to while the youngest made multiple trips upstairs to get his “your last walk out of school I want a good picture outfit”. He came downstairs ready to eat so I got him some finally done hash browns and one of the first couple of pancakes because the new pancakes were still being worked on.

They were two rubbery he said and stated that he wasn’t really hungry after all. I was walking with him to school with his normal walking buddies and their moms and, of course, I missed the group photo because I was putting our dog back inside after I realized another mom brought her male dog. That would have been a walk to forget, not remember. I don’t even know what number “not as planned’ event this is by now.

We almost made it to the school but the dog got excited and the boy walking him got tripped up, skinning the heck out of his knee. I’m sure that went on his mom’s “not as planned” event list. We got to the school, hurt boy and his mom got a ride home from his dad who met them up at the school parking lot so he could go home and clean up his wound. The other mom rode home with them so she could get to work earlier than she expected so now I’m by myself trying to catch up to my son and his friends. I get sidetracked by his P.E. teacher who I love. I run to catch up with the boys and I yell at my son to wait up. He doesn’t. As he turns to go into the doors, I yell again. “I want to take a video of you walking in for the last time…hang on!”

He turns and looks at me with utter dismay. “MOM! The doors are closing! I need to go in!” Perhaps we’ve raced to beat those closing doors a few too many times. I wanted to say, ‘Of all days, buddy, this is the least of them to worry about! Who gives a shit rip if you are late?! What’s one more tardy on the mile long list?” But I knew if I insisted he reenact the final walk-in, it was going to be horrible memory material so I said f*ck it under my breath and said, “See you after school. Thanks for the memory,” because I’m a great mom like that. I’m not proud of that one.

I proceeded to walk home by myself and when I arrived home, my tile guy asked if I had left something on the stove. I was busy outside talking to the other tile guy and said “No, sometimes when I cook pancakes the house gets smoky.” Ten minutes later I go in and sure enough, something was burning. Those hash browns that would never get crispy? Well, they were crispy now. I’m now a bit worried that our smoke alarms aren’t working properly because they had every reason to be going off. Best breakfast ever.

I managed to get two teacher gifts and a birthday gift before heading to the school to get a 5th grade class picture that was happening before the celebratory last walkout. I walk in and the picture is over with kids heading back to their classrooms to get organized. I found another mom who sent me the pic. Fine. At this point, I’m like whatever. I see my child to give him the gift to give to his teacher and he says, “I gotta go!” and runs off down the hall. I end up following him and give this teacher the gift myself. I manage to cry as I hug her and thank her for making his fifth grade year one of the best he’s had and for helping prepare him for middle school.

I scoot out to the front sidewalk to find a spot to get the best pic. My husband arrives in the nick of time…and so does the rain. Big fat ass rain drops start to fall just as the doors fill with the first class of fifth graders. My son is one of the first out the door and while in the years past we linger to take pictures with all of their friends and hug/cry with the other moms, this time it’s a “Where’s the car?!” Seriously? That’s it? My video of him was four seconds long. At that point, the rest of the parents who were waiting to get a picture of their child closed the walkway as they all tried to escape the deluge of rain coming down. To say it was a cluster was an understatement. We couldn’t find one friend nor the other teacher who we were giving a gift to which was now a bit wet. We fought the crowd like salmon to get inside only to find out the teacher we were looking for was doing car line duty. W…T…F was going on with this day?

My youngest was going to a birthday post last day of school walk out so I said goodbye to my husband, who I apologized to because I had guilted him into coming to the worst last day of school exit I had ever seen. Did I mention that by this time the rain had stopped? So basically a cloud decided to unleash at the exact moment I was going to take the most epic of all “last time” videos and then turned it off when it no longer mattered.

At this point, all I could do was laugh because I should’ve expected this. The more you want things to be this picture perfect moments that will be sealed in our memory banks forever (because they had for the other two kids, why wouldn’t they now?), the more they go the other way. As moms, we want our kids to have these incredible memories of these last of their lasts moments but really, I think it’s more for us. We want to seal them in a bottle to pull them out again and again as our kids become no longer kids.

Today was perfectly imperfect and the “not as planned” events are still memories. “Hey Mom, remember when you made those rubber pancakes on the last day of school and we got soaked when we walked out of school? Wasn’t that hilarious?”

“Yep,” I’ll reply, “Hilarious.”